It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
