Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
