I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
