The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
