I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
