Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize