i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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