i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
