How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize