She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
