I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize