Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
