look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
