dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
