she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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