She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize