distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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