Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(252): View more from North Carolina

so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us

(205): View more from Alabama

that didnt stop you

(252): View more from North Carolina

nope

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(760): View more from California

Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"

(231): View more from Michigan

OMG its one we used last night

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(714): View more from California

He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

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(727): View more from Florida

And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan

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(850): View more from Florida

Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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(425): View more from Washington

Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat

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(716): View more from New York

Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far

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