is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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