now i know why i became what i already was.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
