Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
