Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
