yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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