He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
