Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You may now shotgun with the bride
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
