It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
