I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize