you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
