I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
