I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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