if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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