I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
