Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
