I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
