I'm laying in your front yard are you home
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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