Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
