For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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