Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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