My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
