On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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