just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
