If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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