I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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