Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do vagina's smell?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think my moral compass just broke
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