thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
