What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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