What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
