absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i permit you to call me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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