I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
