Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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