dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
