i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This baby is an asshole
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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