i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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