He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
