That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
