I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Enjoy the penises
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
