let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
